Commandments of Marriage

In writing this blog, I am trying to cover as many topics and scenarios possible to be able to reach out to all.  One topic I haven't really touched yet is marriage.  Marriage is a beautiful gift given to us from God and yet the institution of marriage seems to be dwindling.  Therefore, taking time to reflect upon marriage and how our marriage is going is something that should be on the front burner regularly.

I have multiple resources on marriage in my office with so many more out on amazon.com to consider!  The books sitting in my office are a great resource for me, but you don't have access to them.  My plan over the next 10 weeks is to review a book by Ed Young entitled "The Ten Commandments of Marriage".  I will summarize each commandment over time and hopefully this will allow for you time to ponder your marriage.  The book is a great book and my summaries will cover only portions of the book, so if you are looking for something to read, pick it up!

The first commandment in marriage according to Ed Young is "Thou Shalt not be a Selfish Pig".  The disease surrounding this commandment is "pigitis".  How do you know if you have "pigitis"?  Here are the symptoms...Immaturity, time choices, insensitivity, and stubbornness.  Philippians 2:3 states, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." 

Immaturity is moving your love from "puppy love" to a "mature love".  Puppy love is wanting to be with the person because they make you feel good as opposed to a mature love seeking to grow and mature together.  In my opinion, one of the best quotes in this section of the book is,"If you build your marital relationship on puppy love, you'll end up living a dog's life!" (pg.26)

Time choices look at where is it that most of your time is spent.  Do you take time to for your spouse or do they just get the leftovers?  Is ESPN or HGTV taking the place of quality time with your spouse?

Insensitivity, as Young states, "Kills a marriage and can destroy any kind of relationship." (pg. 29)  In the day to day life of your marriage are you taking the time to understand what your spouse wants, needs, and is feeling and then acting upon those wants, needs and feelings?

Finally, there is stubbornness.  Are you willing to compromise in decisions and take the time to listen to what your spouse needs?

There is a treatment for pigitis!  Young has pointed out three things couples should consider.  Priorities, Expectations, and Patterns.  Each couple should sit down and discuss what their priorities are.  Each person will bring personal priorities to the table and discussing those priorities helps you to get on the same page.  Everyone brings expectations to a marriage and finding out what each others expectations are early on can save from many pointless fights.  The patterns in a marriage are important also.  Discuss how you are going to handle big decisions, money, discipline, etc. 

Our Savior has given us the best example of love.  He died on the cross for us.  That is the most unselfish love their is.  While considering if you have pigitis :-)  take a moment to reflect on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  What is love?  It is...
Patient - Kind - not envious - does not boast - not arrogant - not rude - does not insist on its own way - not irritable - not resentful - does not rejoice in wrong doing - rejoices with the truth - bears all things - believes all things - hopes all things - endures all things.

So much to consider!  Praying you are taking time for your marriage and enjoying each other's company.

Cheryl