Comfort - When spouses need comfort...

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

The definition of comfort is “to soothe, console, reassure, bring cheer to, to aid, to support or encourage.” (dictionary.com)  The perfect example of comfort comes from Christ.  He has extended His comfort to us unconditionally with no strings attached.  That comfort is shown in 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.”  If Christ is the perfect example of comfort, then it is important to turn to scripture to see how He comforts so we know how to comfort.  

Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”  If one takes a look at Christ’s life, He shared in peoples’ joy as well as wept when others wept.  When Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, He wept with Lazarus’ sisters even though He knew Lazarus was going to be raised from the dead.  He truly felt their pain.  Comfort is truly feeling for your spouse.  We may not know exactly how they feel, but we can extend to them comfort in a way to let them know we hurt when they hurt and rejoice when they rejoice.

That concept leads into 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  Christ extends us His comfort in all afflictions.  We are able to feel and know His comfort because we have an ongoing relationship with Him.  We have an ongoing relationship with our spouse.  To be able to extend the comfort our spouse needs it is imperative to continue to build the relationship with each other; to understand what kind of comfort is needed.

In Isaiah 40:1 it notes how God has comforted.  “Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.  Speak tenderly to Jerusalem…”  Even though Jerusalem didn’t deserve tender words, they were comforted by the Lord’s tender speaking.  We too can extend comfort by using tender words.  Many times our spouses endure the harshest words because it is easy to “unload” on them when times of comfort are needed.  Tender words in reply are a way to demonstrate love and dedication. 

Finally, in Psalm 23:4 it states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  We have the comfort that Christ is with us.  Married couples need to have the comfort that they are there for each other despite what is being thrown at them at any given time.  Christ will never leave us!  We say for better or for worse.

Comfort is something each of us needs from one another.  It was pointed out in 2 Corinthians we are able to extend comfort because He has given us comfort.  As you continue to grow with your spouse and learn how your spouse needs comfort, you will be able to extend it because we have the perfect example through Christ.

Cheryl

    

   

Bible Passage for the week

Do you take moments to think about your faith?  What is it?  Why do you believe?  Hebrews 11:1 notes, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." 

Our Savior has given us the eternal hope!  I know that some day I will see my Savior face to face and that meeting will be more glorious than I will ever imagine.  Make sure you take moments this week to thank Jesus for giving us eternal hope and share that eternal hope with others!

Cheryl

What is God's Plan for us?

What is God’s plan for us?  The ultimate plan – “The Lord has made known His salvation”. (Psalm 98:2)  His plan is that we know/have his salvation.  Christ died on the cross, rose again and therefore we have the greatest gift ever – salvation! 

God also has a plan for us in our day to day lives.  Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord…”  So what are those plans?  For me those plans need to be made known right away.  (I am sure God is smiling and shaking his head as I write this!)  I am not a patient person.  I am a planner.  I am not one that enjoys “sitting around” waiting to find out an answer.  Right now is best for me! 

When my husband found out the Chicago office was closing and we had to move to DC or find a different job, I was not at all happy.  My husband and I both felt the east coast was not for us.  So he tried to find a different job.  Nothing came up and we started making our plans to move east.  I came to the east coast with the mindset that we would not be here very long.  I could handle anything for a period of time and then we would move back the Midwest.  Well, the Lord has definitely had different plans than we had.  We have lived here for 9 years; longer than any other place we have lived.  We have some of the most amazing friends we have ever had.  I have a job that would have never come about if we hadn’t moved east.  I have been able to further my education and use that to serve the Lord.   The Lord’s plan was so much grander than we had ever imagined!

This is the problem – we cannot imagine what the Lord has in store for us because we cannot see the big picture.  What we are to do is to trust Him and follow His lead.  Part of that is being patient.  God’s timing is different than our timing.  2 Peter 3:9 – “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”  God’s plan for my husband and I will be revealed when the time is right.  I would not have had as much success in my current job if I hadn’t had my first Masters.  Therefore, I needed to do that prior to stepping into this position.  This means the right now thing doesn’t work!    I am sure we all can look back and see how God’s plan has unfolded.  The pieces are filled in; the connections are made.  The great part is the Lord keeps His promises.  He will take care of us always even when we are impatient!

Another piece of God’s plan can be found in Psalm 96:2 – “Sing to the Lord, bless His name; tell of His salvation from day to day.”  Part of His plan; let the whole earth know of His salvation.  We are His instruments in that plan.  Isaiah 52:10b “and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.”  We get to share the Good News with all!  Having said that, all of you are not supposed to go out and get your church worker’s degree and start on His plan of sharing His salvation to the ends of the earth.  You are to do what God has asked you to do in life and in that share His salvation. 

Remember the Lord’s plans are grander than ours!

Cheryl 

Bible Passage for the Week

This week it seems appropriate to find a bible passage that talks about lambs as I have dealt with new lambs all day. 

Isaiah 40:11 states, "He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young."

It is so comforting to know our Lord will gather us up in His arms and carry us!  As you go about your week and the stress of life gets you remember we are safe in the arms of our Shepherd!

Cheryl 

Trust

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

 Proverbs 3:5

The definition of trust is one that has a great deal of depth to it.  “Trust - reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.” (dictionary.com)  Can your spouse rely upon your integrity, your strength, your ability, your surety and be confident in you?  Wow! That is a set of standards to digest!  So, let’s take a look at these standards from two perspectives. 

The first perspective is taking a look at the relationship we have with Christ as individuals and as couples.  We can rely upon Christ’s integrity.  Christ has promised us so much and He has kept every one of His promises.  Ephesians 2:8 “For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is a gift of God.”  Christ’s integrity is shown through the gift given to us.  We can rely upon Christ’s strength.  Nahum 1:7 – “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him.”  Christ’s strength holds us up through everything!  We can rely upon Christ’s ability.  John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  Jesus had the “ability” to die for us!  He didn’t say He couldn’t do it.  We can rely upon the surety of Christ.  Romans 8:32 – “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?”  We can have the confidence in Christ that when we put our trust in Him, He will follow through on His promises. 

The second perspective is taking a look at our relationship with our spouse as well as taking a look at where Christ fits in that relationship.  Trust can be likened to a bank account.  You make deposits and debits.  You make deposits by demonstrating to your spouse that they can rely upon your integrity, your strength, your ability and your surety.  You make debits in the bank account when you demonstrate the lack of reliability.  The unfortunate part debits carry with them a heavier weight than deposits do.  Therefore, it takes more deposits to keep the bank full.  Debits can deplete the bank quickly.

Because we are human, there are going to be deposits and debits going in and out of the bank account.  Those exchanges of deposits and debits take a toll on a relationship.  This is why it is critical that Christ is the center of a marriage.  When a couple looks to Christ to help them and guide them that is their stronghold.  As noted in Proverbs 3:5b – “Do not lean on your own understanding.”  Christ is the one who fills us with the wisdom, strength, passion, and love needed to have a fulfilling marriage.  Christ is the one who we can put our trust in and we have the assurance He will not let us down.  When there is a debit in the account Christ is the one who can help repair and fill the account with deposits. 

Cheryl   

Bible Passage for the Week

The bible passage for this week is Psalm 40:5 - "You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you!  I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told."

Nothing can compare to the blessings our Savior generously bestows upon us!  Take note of all the blessings you receive this week and proclaim the goodness of our Lord!

Cheryl

Understanding your Spouse

“Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.”

2 Timothy 2:7

Understanding your spouse is a responsibility that each person needs to consider.  The guys are probably reading this and thinking it is impossible!  I am here to let you know – guys it is not impossible – and it is something all couples should strive to do on a continual basis. 

To understand one another takes time as well as careful attention to detail.  It is not something you can do overnight or by taking a few moments to listen to your spouse.  It is an action that is always ongoing.  It is an action that requires honest communication from each other.  It is an action that reaps great benefits when acted upon!

When couples choose not to understand one another they run the risk of trying to make their spouse be someone they are not.  Psalm 139:14 states, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”  God made each and everyone of us unique.  The key is to work to understand how God made your spouse.  What gifts and talents did God give your spouse to use in His kingdom?  What makes your spouse tick?  What is the best way to support your spouse?  How does you spouse want to be loved?  The questions are endless or should I say a lifetime!  It is an opportunity to discover the treasure you have within your spouse!

2 Timothy 2:7 points out that the Lord will give you understanding in everything.  To gain understanding is to have a relationship with the Lord.  In fact, in Hebrews 4:15-16 it notes, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Our Lord understands us fully.  He understands our spouse fully.  We need to lean on Him for the wisdom to understand our spouses as fully as we can.

Continue to “discover” your spouse!  Continue to understand them and as you do you will reap a solid relationship!

Cheryl

Bible Passage for the Week

Take a moment to reflect upon Romans 15:4 this week.  "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

The beauty of spending time in Scripture is we do find the encouragement and hope we have in Christ!  Use this passage as a reminder that Scripture was written for us!

Cheryl

Where is Jesus?

On our way to preschool this morning, while rocking away to VBS music, my 4 year-old says to me "Where is Jesus?"  Of course I had an answer, but my answer wasn't really geared towards a 4 year-old.  How do you tell a 4 year-old He is everywhere; He lives in us; He is in heaven with our Heavenly Father?  I'm not sure I have the answer to that yet.  I did talk about how Jesus is with us all the time and helps us out each and every day.  She was quiet for a moment and then simply asked me to turn up the music.  I am not sure what was/is processing in her little brain. 

However, that didn't stop my thinking process.  Where is Jesus?  Do we give credit to Jesus for walking by our side on a daily basis?  Yesterday, I attended some meetings that were in an area that I was not familiar with.  I ran off the google directions and headed off to the meeting.  Well the directions skipped an entire step, which left me not where I wanted to be.  By God's guidance, I made it to the meeting and was on time! 

Do we see how Jesus is walking with us and guiding us?  Do we allow Him to guide us or do we do what we want to do?  I think so many times we chalk things up to luck or just happened that I took an exit that led me to the road I needed.  No, things don't just happen.  Jesus was guiding me the whole way yesterday as well as guides me through today and tomorrow.

The question is who/what gets the credit?  Give Jesus the credit for fulfilling His promise.  "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  Matthew 28:20

Cheryl