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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Commandent 6 of Marriage

Time sure does fly!  It has been awhile since I have posted a review of the book, "The Ten Commandments of Marriage" by Ed Young.  Today, I will review commandment six and want to remind you that there is much more to the chapter than I review, so if it intrigues you check out the book!

Commandment six is "Thou shalt flee sexual temptation - online or otherwise".  I find it appropriate that this would fall as the sixth commandment in the book.  In Luther's Small Catechism the sixth commandment is "Thou shalt not commit adultery". 

I think this is one of those commandments everyone knows and chalks it up to, "I will never do that" or "That is what so and so did".  However, Young makes some really good points throughout this chapter.  The first being everyone has to take this commandment seriously.  The biblical example used in the chapter is how David committed adultery with Bathsheba and David was a man of God.  He fell victim to his sinful desires.  Therefore, the underlying theme to this whole chapter is RUN!  Do not just flee from sexual temptations RUN from them!

Young uses the illustration of a deadly disease.  If someone where to tell you that you could not enter a certain area because there was the potential to contract a highly contagious deadly disease you would not enter the area.  In fact, most people would stay far away.  However, when sexual temptation is knocking at our door we let it knock.  We don't RUN or treat it like a deadly disease.  The treatment is likened to "I can handle it" when in reality it is a deadly disease.  Sexual temptation can ruin a person along with a marriage.  Therefore, sexual temptations of any kind need to be pushed away with a vengeance. 

When we RUN we are to run to Christ.  It is Christ that guides us, walks with us, and gives us the strength to face any temptation before us.  We also need to turn to our spouse.  When we are focused on our spouse, not only are the outside temptations pushed aside we are able to become more intimate with our spouse.  Being focused on one another allows the ability to get to know one another better and at a deeper level.

Young points out in Song of Solomon 7:11-12 how scripture shares couples need to take time away from everyday life.  Couples need to take the opportunity to step away from the hustle and bustle of life to enjoy each other's company; to take the time to continue to get to know one another on the many levels each of us have.  Take Song of Solomon seriously and set aside the time for each other.  Not only will it be good for the marriage it also helps keep the temptations away. 

God designed sex and it is a beautiful thing! A husband and wife complete each other.

Cheryl

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Bible Passage for the Week

It is time to post another bible passage in your house and hopefully have opportunities throughout the week to talk about it.

This week the bible passage comes from Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

I was doing some reading today and this passage was noted.  What really caught my attention was the wording of the passage.  It states when you pass through or when you walk through...  It doesn't say if you walk through...  We will walk through the water and fire.  We will face trials and tribulations of all kinds.  We don't know how long those trials and tribulations will last but no matter what the tribulations are Christ is with us all the time!

This bible passage is a great bible passage to have discussion around because we have the opportunity to share how Christ has been with us throughout the day. 

Cheryl

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Our Walk with the Lord

In reading an article the other day out of my "Homelife" magazine, it struck me how easily we as humans get off course.  The article is entitled "Walking Sierra - Teaching a puppy to walk on a leash reminds me of my relationship with God"  by Gaile Veale.  A puppy many times wants to go in one direction and the owner wants to go in another.  Just as God is guiding us in one direction and we are pulling with all of our might to go another direction.  Another comparison within the article relayed the puppies need to sniff everything and take its time.  Do we take time to check out God's word and spend quality time within His word and talking with Him?

Those are hard questions to ponder as we get wrapped in the hustle and bustle of life.  Joshua 1:8 states, "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to everything written in it." 1 Thessalonians 5:17 notes, "Pray continually".  To be in His word day and night and to be praying continually takes diligence.  It is taking the time to build a relationship with Christ. 

Why spend the time?  Because Christ is always there for us, always guiding us, always knows what is best for us and laid down His life for us so we can have a relationship with Him.  In spending that time with Him, we can follow the path He is asking us to lead.  As noted in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I pray as you walk with the Lord, you find yourself not pulling on the leash in a different direction and taking the time to check out His word along the way. 

Cheryl

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Bible Passage for the Week

This week has been filled with Vacation Bible School.  A week where kids come and have a morning filled with praising God!  It is also a week where volunteers get to make a difference and this week they have made a huge difference!

We have spent the week looking at different verses in Psalm 139.  The one I would like to share for this week is Psalm 139:4.  "Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord."

What a great and wonderful God we have.  He knows everything!  He knows our joys, our sorrows, our pains, and all the things we face daily.  What a comfort it is to know that our Lord knows us!

I hope and pray you have opportunities to share these passages with your loved ones and have time to talk about them. 

Cheryl

Friday, June 17, 2011

Father's Day

Father's Day is this Sunday and it is an opportunity to honor our fathers as well as our husbands as fathers.  In reading an article this morning there is an opportunity I would like to put on your radar screen. 

In September the movie "Courageous" is coming to theatres.  This movie was produced by the same church that produced "Fireproof".  It is a movie about fatherhood and the significance that role holds.  Stephen Kendrick, producer of the movie, noted...

"Men have lost their sense of purpose, honor, and influence.  God wants dads to represent Him and introduce Him to the next generation, revealing what He as our Heavenly Father is like: a strong, truthful, and loving Protector, and Leader.  This generation doesn't know what great fatherhood looks like.  They rarely see it modeled in the media or at home, so they struggle to understand what God is really like." (Taken from an article in Homelife magazine)

If you would like to check out the trailer to the movie go to www.courageousthemovie.com  A few of my co-workers had the opportunity to preview this movie last week.  The conversations that followed the movie were invigorating.  It is a movie that we all need to see.

Happy Father's Day!

Cheryl 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Fifth Commandment of Marriage

It is time to review another commandment from the book "The Ten Commandments of Marriage" by Ed Young.  As usual, I will review the chapter but not everything will be covered.  It is a great book to check out.

The fifth commandment is "Thou shalt avoid the quicksand of debt".  Isn't there a saying - "money is the root of all evil"?  Well money can be the root of divorce as well.  The beginning of this chapter talks about a newly married couple that "needs" to keep up with the Jones'; bigger house, better cars, newer technology, etc.  Just think about our society, we "need" a lot of stuff.  We "need" to have the newest, best and fastest thing out there.  However, the newest never stays new; the best always changes, and the fastest thing will be slow after a while.  Therefore, it is a vicious cycle to keep up with.  That vicious cycle brings about tension, which can eventually lead to divorce.

Young talks about stewardship.  As Young notes, stewardship is not just a word the church uses it should be something all households use in their everyday language.  "God owns everything and entrusts some of it to us to use for a little while.  God makes us trustees of His possessions." (pg. 110)  When looking at it that way, how one spends the money should definitely change.  Are we being good stewards of the blessings that the Lord has given us? 

What gets in the way of stewardship?  A word and action called greed.  "Greed is best defined as mishandled blessings." (pg. 111)  A question was put out to the general public of America by researchers Patterson and Kim to see "What would You Do for $10 Million?"  It is astounding what people are willing to do to have their hands on mega amounts of money.  Some of the things listed in the book are, "abandon their family, abandon their church, become prostitutes for a week, leave their spouse, kill a stranger, put their children up for adoption..."  People would do these things to get what? A new house, a new TV, a new...whatever $10 Million dollars can buy.  Yet, they would be left without love, without Christ, a guilty conscious, etc.  How twisted our society is that it has made the "love of money" so appealing.

Other concepts in the chapter discussed are types of budgets, how to overcome greed, the concept of deceit and rationalizing, etc.  It is a great chapter that gives couples lots to consider when they are working towards building their life together.

Psalm 37:16 notes, "Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked."

Proverbs 10:22 - "The blessing of the Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it."

We are already rich!  We do not need the $10 Million!

Cheryl 

Monday, June 13, 2011

Bible Passage for the Week

It sometimes amazes me how fast time flies.  Another week has gone by and it is time to ponder a different bible passage.

This weeks bible passage comes from Ephesians 6:10-11.  "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."

Notice how it says so we can take our stand against the devil.  It doesn't say just in case the devil comes around we need to have some armor ready.  The devil is present with many schemes and our armor needs to be put on every day.  The Lord goes on in Chapter 6 of Ephesians to relay the exact armor that we need. 

While discussing this verse take a moment to read what type of armor the Lord is asking us to put on and how we can go about that daily. Ephesians 6:14-18 

Cheryl

Monday, June 6, 2011

Bible Passage for the Week

We live in a society where we "need" to have alot of stuff!  We "need" to have the newest and best thing out there.  If one takes a moment to look back at all the stuff "needed", was it really needed?  Some stuff fit the bill but other stuff was wasted stuff that sits around the house not being used.

 Psalm 37:16 states, "Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked."

This is a great verse to have around the house and committed to memory as we live in the digital age where the new "thing" comes out every 3 months.  It is almost impossible to keep up with the trend.  Christ promises us that He will provide for us our daily needs not the needs of the digital world. 

Cheryl

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

4th Commandment of Marriage

This week's book review is the 4th Commandment of Marriage from the book "The Ten Commandments of Marriage" by Ed Young.  Just as a reminder, I review the chapter but there is much more in the chapter than I divulge in my writing.  I highly recommend this book as a resource on your book shelf.

The 4th Commandment of Marriage is one that each of us needs to take into careful consideration - "Thou shalt make conflict thy ally".  I had to read the commandment a couple of times and then read the chapter before it truly made sense for me.  What do you mean that conflict should be my ally?  I think the author has misprinted the title of this chapter!  Clearly, I do not want conflict in my marriage nor do I think it is any fun. 

Well, the author did not misprint the title and yes I need to make conflict my ally.  When you put two or more people together there is going to be conflict.  Conflict will even be there if you are "madly" in love!  Therefore it is in the best interest of both people to make conflict the ally!  The entire chapter talks about the do's and don'ts of conflicts as well as how to manage conflict.

The don'ts of conflict is a rather long list.  The first being "Don't be ashamed of your anger".  Anger is motivation to do something about the issue at hand.  The problem lies in how we handle the anger.  Properly handling the anger can strengthen a relationship.  The second don't is "Don't call in heavy artillery or use deadly weapons."  The deadly weapons are things such as, "I'll leave or get a divorce", slamming doors and stomping away are just some of weapons that can be used in conflict.  The third don't is "Don't air your dirty linen in public".  This should never happen!  I once heard that if you air your dirty laundry with people you leave them with an impression of your spouse.  The problem is those same people are not in your bedroom when you make up.  Those people still hold that bad impression.  Don't make your spouse look bad to other people.  The fourth don't is "Don't paint yourself into a corner".  Making broad brush statements that don't allow for an out can cause problems.  The fifth don't is "Don't use the turtle approach".  Climbing into your "shell" and not saying anything does not help in resolving the conflict.  The sixth don't is "Don't keep a chip on your shoulder".  When an issue is resolved it needs to stay resolved.  Don't carry the chip to bring it back up at another time.  Finally, "Don't use sex as a weapon".  Young states, "When sex becomes a weapon of manipulation, the whole physical relationship degenerates." (pg. 95) 

Conflict needs to stay constructive and not destructive.  If there is a pattern within your marriage where conflict arises on a consistent basis, take time to analyze why.  Don't analyze in the heat of the moment but analyze when you have time to be truly honest with yourself. 

What do you do if the battle lines are drawn and the heat of the moment is upon you?  Young suggests six things that can be done.  The first being "Talk and listen to God!"  Pray!  Take time to pour your heart out to God and listen to what he is asking you to do.  The next thing is to "Try to understand your mate".  What makes your mate tick?  Listen to what your spouse is asking for?  This learning process will make for a more intimate relationship.  However, don't use those things that make your spouse tick against them at a later point!  "Try to understand yourself"  Not only do you need to know what makes your spouse tick you need to know what makes you tick.  Take the time to truly look at yourself.  Why do you respond the way you respond?  What is making me cranky today?  You also need to "Talk to your mate".  As Young states, "No relationship can thrive without regular and healthy communication."  (pg. 99)  The fifth thing is "Don't let the sun go down on your anger."  Ephesians 4:26-27 states, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."  Finally, "Make confession and forgiveness a priority".  We are all sinners; therefore, we all need to ask for forgiveness. 

I think a great way to end this review is by looking at Psalm 141:3 - "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"  Conflict is inevitable within a marriage.  How we handle the conflict is important.  The word choices we use is even more important.  Words can destroy!  Better yet, words can build someone up!  Lord please guard my mouth and lips within my anger.

Cheryl