Exalting Your Spouse
“Therefore encourage
one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Have you heard the phrase it takes 10 positive comments to
counteract one negative comment? It is a
statement that many times is told to kids as they are being taught how to
positively treat others. It is also a
statement that applies to marriage. To
build each other up is by using words that are exalting of one another.
Exalting, according to Dictionary.com, means; “to raise in
rank, honor, power, character, quality, to elevate, to praise”. As you think about conversations you have
about your spouse with other people, do you exalt them? Do you speak in such a manner that the other
person knows exactly how amazing your spouse is?
Our spouse is the person that is the closest one to us and
therefore is the easiest person to hurt.
When we choose to speak poorly, or not exalt our spouse, a couple of
things happen. First it hurts our
spouse. It leaves a “wound” that is
going to require attention. It is going
to take 10 plus positive comments to undo the one statement. The second thing it does is it leaves a bad
impression of our spouse to whomever we are talking with. It brings a “third party” in on the issues
that are occurring between each other.
The problem in bringing in the “third party” is two-fold. First, only one side of the story is being
presented. Second, when you and your
spouse make-up the “third party” is not present. Therefore, they are still left with the
negative impression given in the previous conversation. They have not moved on from the issue as the
two of you have. They are still holding
the hurt that you shared with them.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 states we are to encourage one another
and build one another up. There is no
better place to apply this message than our marriages. As previously noted, our spouse is the
easiest person to hurt. Because of that,
if we do not consciously exalt our spouse we run the risk of tearing each other
down instead of building each other up.
Marriage is not an easy road! It
requires work and the ability to find the good in one another constantly. The more you speak of your spouse in an
exalting manner the more you will see them as an amazing person.
Marriage may be a tough road to walk down; however, it is a
road that is filled with so many blessings.
Exalt your spouse to others as well as to each other. Remember you married an amazing person! Find the good in each other and share that
with your spouse and the world!
Cheryl
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