Courting...Your Spouse

“My beloved is mine, and I am his.” Song of Solomon 2:16 

Courting is an old fashion term; one that many times gets a bad rap.  The word courting has been exchanged for dating in our society today.  When one takes a look at the difference in terms it is very interesting how we as a society have moved from “courting” to “dating”.  Courting, according to dictionary.com, means: “to try to win the favor, preference, or goodwill of; to seek the affections of.”  Dating, on the other hand, means: “to go out socially”.  By definition there seems to be a more deliberate action when one is courting versus when one is dating. 

Are you deliberate in your actions to “court” your spouse?  Do you take time to “save your marriage”? (Compliments of our friends the Sprick's)  Too many times, once the “I do’s” are said life gets in the way!  I remember thinking I couldn’t wait to get married because then we could be together all the time.  We wouldn’t have to set a date, or be deliberate in finding time to be together.  Then I got married.  He held a full time job, plus went to college full time.  I held two part-time jobs and went to college full time.  We stopped being deliberate about finding time to be together because we now lived together and that meant we were together; when in fact we were spending less time with each other.  Conversations revolved around schedules, bills, etc. and no longer revolved around getting to know one another.

Too many of us fall into the trap of “life”.  We stop “courting” or being deliberate about spending time together.  It takes effort to “court” one another and it is easy to let that fall by the wayside because the “I do’s” have been said.  Unfortunately, by letting it fall by the wayside it is a contributing factor to unhappy marriages.  The “fun” side of marriage is gone and all that is left is work.  Work to make sure everyone is taking care of, bills are paid, jobs are attended to, house taken care of, yard work done, and the list goes on and on and on. 

Have you ever taken some time to read Song of Solomon?  It is a book written in poetic nature.  One that King Solomon points out how beautiful his bride is as well as the bride complimenting her husband.  They see each other and speak of each other in a very loving way.  How often do we take time to see our spouse through the eyes we used to see them through; when we were “madly” in love?  Do we deliberately take time to spend with them outside of all the other “stuff” that has to be done?

The Sprick’s shared with Dan and I how they used to tell their kids, “We are going to save our marriage”.  This meant the kids were not invited to participate in the activity/date that was planned for the evening.  I do believe they have insight into the success of a marriage!  If we are not deliberate and take time for our marriage we run the risk of losing our marriage.  It slowly dissipates until one day you realize that there is very little left of the two of you.  Take time to “court” one another!  Everyone’s marriage needs to make sure the fun still exists!

Cheryl