One of the things that I really enjoy about my job is the opportunity to research many topics. I spend a great deal of time reading up on a number of things. One of those topics is parenting. There are a ton of books, magazine articles, and research that cover the topic of parenting. This is a good thing as parenting is a monumental task involving the very little people that God has so generously blessed us with; but can be overwhelming because there is so much to read and so little time to read it!
Once again I was reading and studying today and it hit me that most of the parenting material builds upon the foundation of making sure couples are solid in their marriage. Let me unpack this a little. We get married and we devote our time to each other. There is time to just sit, talk and laugh. There is time go out and have a good time. Then the little bambinos come along and our devoted time is diverted to the bambinos. There seems to be no time for just sitting and laughing let alone going out. It is almost as if our “married status” is put on hold and our “parent status” is put on full time status.
Well, “married status” doesn’t stop because kids come along. We have to make sure we have “married status” as well as “parent status”. In fact, if we keep “married status” on the forefront we will have a better “parent status”. You see, God created an amazing unity amongst a husband and wife. In Mark 10:6-9 it states, “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” When we put our “married status” on hold to tend to our children and life in general we start to lose that sense unity with our spouse. It opens the door for life to take over and for couples to drift away from that amazing unity God created. We are “allowing” man to separate us. When we lose that connection, we are not at our best in parenting due to the lack of unity with our spouse.
So don’t put your marriage on the back burner because you have little one’s or teenagers running around. Give your kids the best gift you can – a demonstration of an amazing love and unity you can share with a spouse! A suggestion given by Les and Leslie Parrot is to take 60 seconds when you come together again after being apart all day to “reconnect”. Let each other know that you love and missed each other throughout the day. It is just one simple way to keep your “marriage status” current! Cheryl
This is so very true and it happens so quickly that you do not realized the "parent" status is taking over. We are working at changing this because our teens are all adults and will soon be moving out. We sure dont want to be wondering the house and not know how to talk to each other. Date nights are my favorite, the kids learned long time ago that if it was a date that meant only mom and dad could go. As they got older they would even decide to not come because mom and dad needed a date night. Thanks Cheryl for your insight.
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